Table of Contents
For many gay men, fisting is a topic that lies somewhere between myth, taboo, and the ultimate explosion of pleasure. Maybe you’ve already googled it out of curiosity, maybe you’ve already had some experience with it, or maybe you’re just wondering what fisting is all about and how you can experience it safely so that it remains a pleasurable memory. In addition to trying it out for yourself, books can be real treasures. They not only provide you with tips on different techniques and background knowledge, but also the theoretical foundation that this type of play requires in order to understand and enjoy it properly. In our article, we present the best books on the subject of fisting. Some are practical guides, others are more theoretical. Taken together, they form a kind of “fisting primer” that provides you with knowledge AND pleasure.
Why books about fisting are more than just technical manuals
Before we introduce you to the individual titles, let’s take a little detour: Fisting is not just “sex with your fist.” It is an exciting and challenging game in which devotion, trust, physical boundaries, and, above all, the psychological dimensions of power and letting go play a major role.
Books that deal with this topic are therefore always more than just instructions on how to shape your hand correctly or how much lubricant you should use. They also provide space for reflection: about your body, your inner desires, about boundary experiences, and the desire to rethink your sexuality. It is important to remember that fisting is never just a technique; it is a piece of lived subculture.
“The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men” by Bill Brent
If there’s one book that should be on every gay man’s nightstand, it’s Bill Brent’s classic. While it’s not exclusively about fisting, Brent provides you with the foundation you need for any form of anal pleasure. From anatomy to hygiene to mental preparation, he covers everything.
The book comes from the editors of the bestseller “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women,” who wanted to write a companion book specifically for men. The result is a sexy, entertaining guide to anal sex for men that offers a wealth of information on all aspects of anal intercourse. The book contains instructions for all men, whether heterosexual, gay, or bisexual, who want to learn how to enjoy anal sex, with or without a partner.
To this end, the authors provide a very clear description of male anatomy and give helpful tips on safety, preparation, and hygiene, as well as on building trust and communicating your desires. The instructions for pleasant anal penetration are very enlightening: how to give and receive it. There are also tips on fisting, S&M, and extreme practices, and you can find out where to get suitable sex toys, accessories, and safe sex items.
This book is worth its weight in gold, especially for beginners, because it takes away the fear of “making mistakes.” You will learn why relaxation is more important than technique, how to find your own pace, and why lubricants and communication are indispensable. Even though Brent himself writes from a time when fisting was even more taboo, his tone is surprisingly relaxed and direct.
“The Compleat Spanker” by Lady Green
At first glance, you may wonder what spanking has to do with fisting. A lot, if you understand BDSM in a broader context. In this book, Lady Green shows you how hitting, submission, and power games not only increase your physical pleasure but can also create psychological intensity.
If you’re interested in fisting, this book is worth reading because it introduces you to a central theme: consent and control. Fisting requires a very high level of trust between top and bottom, similar to spanking. The book helps you understand the importance of communication, aftercare, and a conscious approach to power. And even though Lady Green writes more from a heterosexual perspective, her lessons can be wonderfully applied to gay BDSM and fisting experiences.
“Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns” by Philip Miller & Molly Devon
Things get a little more anarchic here. Miller and Devon have produced a work that delves deep into BDSM culture. Their work is a mix of guidebook, scene description, and manifesto. Fisting also appears here as part of the radical spectrum of pleasure.
The exciting thing about this book is its tone. It is not written as a dry guide, but as an invitation to courageously explore your own sexuality. The two authors show that playing with pain, pleasure, and extremes is always about mutual respect. They make it clear that the most extreme practices are only really hot when they are based on a stable foundation of trust.
Jack Morin – “Anal Pleasure and Health”
This book is almost like the “bible” of gay anal eroticism. Jack Morin was a psychotherapist and in his work he not only gave tips for safe and healthy anal sex, but also dealt with the psychological dimensions.
For many years, the male (and female) anus was an object of fear and disgust, even though for many it is one of the most wonderful creations of the human body. When well cared for, it is elegant, efficient, and equipped with plenty of pleasure nerves. What is needed is a user manual, and here it is.
Therapist and sexologist Jack Morin takes you on a journey through the anus, complete with information and exercises that open the door to horny well-being and hot satisfaction. The book also helps you break bad habits that can cause hemorrhoids or chronic abdominal pain.
Morin’s book is particularly valuable when it comes to fisting because he highlights the connection between physical pleasure and emotional well-being. Reading his book, you will learn why pain and pleasure can be so closely related, why it sometimes takes effort to embrace both, and why the result is often so intense precisely because of this.
Matthias T.J. Grimme – “Das SM-Handbuch” (The SM Handbook)
No German-language book has had as much influence on the SM scene as Grimme’s “SM Handbook.” Although it covers a wide range of topics, it offers a solid introduction to queer BDSM practices, including many considerations that are also important for fisting. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect, and even the perfect sadist values continuous education.
Grimme has written his work in an entertaining, stimulating, and extremely informative way. It is primarily devoted (also in the form of pictures) to the techniques, toys, rituals, and rules that ensure that it hurts beautifully and feels excitingly humiliating. The author talks about the proper use of sadomasochistic tools (from anal plugs to straitjackets). He discusses slave contracts and punishment rituals, but also talks about groups and book recommendations. At the end, there is a detailed index of keywords. For Grimme, safety, clear agreements, and the understanding that extreme pleasure only works when it is embedded in mutual respect are paramount.
Conclusion: Fisting is more than a taboo—it is queer cultural heritage
When you discover fisting as a gay man, you open yourself up to a tradition that goes far beyond your bedroom. It is a game with bodies, power, and devotion. But at the same time, it is an expression of queer freedom.
The books presented here can be your guide on this journey. They show you techniques, give you inspiration, and awaken in you the courage not only to practice your desires, but also to reflect on them afterwards. So grab one of these fisting guides, read up, and experience how much pleasure and insight can be found in a fist.