Testimonials Side

Watching instead of touching: a hotel room on Mallorca

3 guests share one hotel room on Mallorca in this account: the narrator, his best friend and his friend’s partner. The narrator himself comes back from the bar early and gets caught jerking off. For the rest of the night he stays the onlooker while the other two have sex. His best friend draws the line in one sentence at the end: “It’s okay, you can watch, but only I can touch.”

Watching is the practice at the centre of this account, and it turns him on more than anything he has experienced before. He is just as clear that the agreed boundary left the friendship intact. The couple are still together, and another shared holiday is coming up. The Hottest Sex of My Life covers the night in full.

What a side does instead of penetration

Frotting is the rubbing between the cheeks instead of penetration, and that is what happens in the same hotel room. The friend’s partner oils him up, kneels between his legs, lays his cock between the cheeks and presses them together with slick hands. He stays outside and comes anyway. The narrator calls it a form of sex entirely new to him.

Side sex includes oral sex, handjobs and bondage, dominance and sadomasochism (BDSM) alongside this rubbing, as the list in Being a Side shows. It answers the objection that a blowjob or a handjob loses the closeness. Lube goes between the cheeks, and the rubbing in between does the rest. It has its own section in Frotting & Dry Humping.

What a side is and where the term comes from

A side is a gay man who rules anal penetration out for himself, as a top and as a bottom. The American sexologist Joe Kort coined the term, and it has been in circulation since 2013. Gay dating treats the active-or-passive question as standard, and that split leaves sides out. A top is the penetrating partner, a bottom the receiving one, and vers is short for versatile. Next to those three, side stands as a fourth option.

Common reasons for turning anal sex down are pain, disgust at faeces and issues such as haemorrhoids, fissures or a prolapse, as Being a Side lays out. In the same breath the guide stresses that naming those reasons is entirely up to you. For dating it suggests putting side in the profile the way tops and bottoms do.

The best blowjob came from a mate in a city park

8 mates who all consider themselves straight set out together here. Their night starts as an ordinary party in a small town in western Germany. Taking a piss behind a bush, the narrator comments on a mate’s size. His mate fires one back, asks whether he may touch, and drops to his knees a moment later. Later, in the park, the group turns it into a bet on the smallest cock, with the loser blowing everyone in turn.

He ends up alone with the mate who blew everyone and went empty-handed himself, and returns the favour. Two things stay with him, and he flags both as his own impression. First, men who call themselves straight will happily take a blowjob. Second, the night spared him a coming-out. The Best Blowjob of My Life tells the whole evening.

One narrator asks himself whether a blowjob counts as sex

The Mile High Club is an informal label for sex on board an aircraft. This narrator counts himself in with 2 qualifications. The first: only if you count a blowjob as sex. The second: only if a passive partner is entitled to a place in that unofficial club. What led up to it was an overnight flight to New York, a serious fear of flying and his first blowjob in an aircraft lavatory.

He decides for himself what counts as sex. The account also shows an effect that goes beyond any guide. The panic was gone. He slept until shortly before landing and walked off the plane relaxed. My First Blowjob on a Plane tells the story of the flight from the first turbulence on.

Why asking matters more than technique

Rimming is the practice of oral contact with the anus, and this account turns on a single habit. Twice during the night the man from the bar asks out loud whether it is still okay. He waits for the answer rather than reading silence as a yes.

The narrator draws a plain conclusion. For him, good rimming depends more on attention than on any single technique. What he means is whether someone reads a flinch, a deeper breath or a word and adjusts the pace. Trust is what he puts at the centre, because you are literally opening yourself up. Between the Tongue and Trust shows how that trust gets built. Preparation and hygiene are covered in Rimming.

A wish that took a weekend

This account runs in 3 steps: a wish voiced on the sofa one evening, the days of dodging the subject, and the weekend after that. His partner tells him he would like to watch him let go. The narrator immediately feels that this is too intimate for him, and says so. His partner makes clear that he wants a freely given yes.

Over the following days the topic keeps surfacing briefly, and each time he changes the subject. A weekend later the two of them sit in the bedroom, his partner deliberately keeps his distance and suggests taking it slowly. That is what changes things for him. Afterwards he names the decisive part: the moment stayed free of judgement, small and unhurried. My First Time Masturbating in Front of My Partner lays out the full sequence.

In front of the mirror it got clearer rather than stronger

Solo play is sex with yourself, and this account involves just 1 person in a quiet flat. The narrator jerks off for the first time with his eyes fixed on the big narrow mirror right opposite his bed. His verdict surprises him: clearer, and rather less intense.

Closing his eyes is his usual habit, which puts everything inside, while the mirror shows inside and outside at once. What stands out is how quickly he starts judging himself: whether he likes what he sees, whether it looks good. It fades just as quickly once he stops fighting it. My First Time Jerking Off in Front of the Mirror walks through the evening. Techniques, rituals and variations live in Wanking & Solo Play.

Why a side’s reasons are his own business

Sides often face pressure to justify their preference, and Being a Side addresses that pressure head-on. Turning anal sex down makes dating harder, and some men push past their own preference to improve their odds. The guide compares them to people who skip meat or alcohol and get asked to explain themselves just as often.

That pressure surfaces directly in the flight account, whose narrator qualifies his own Mile High membership. In the others it stays unspoken, and the evening simply takes place.

What the setting does to the evening

The setting does more than supply scenery in these 6 accounts. A hotel room shared by 3 men is what turns watching into a topic at all. An aircraft lavatory brings tight space and time pressure. A city park after midnight takes the shame out of a group that behaves differently everywhere else.

In flats the focus shifts, and that holds for 3 of the evenings. The stranger’s flat after the date brings trust into play, the partner’s bedroom gives the moment time, and a man’s own place allows the look at himself. The more familiar the setting, the calmer and more intimate the evening becomes.

What stories show and guides settle

All 6 accounts are user-submitted fantasies or experiences, and they contain erotic content. Tom Rocket’s expressly distances itself from the content and from the acts and opinions described.

That has 2 consequences for you, and both are simple. A submitted story is narrative. Whatever a writer concludes about how often things happen, or about other gay men, stays his impression of 1 evening. For sourced answers on hygiene, technique and preparation, head to the linked guides.

The technique behind each practice

Every practice in these stories has a technique of its own. Blowjobs and everything around mouth and tongue are covered in Blowjobs & Oral, with the deep end covered in Deep Throat. Solo and partnered wanking are explained in Wanking & Solo Play.

Preparation and technique for rimming, the rubbing variants in Frotting & Dry Humping, and the toys that stay on the outside in Sex Toys.

Common questions about sides and their experiences

What is a side in gay sex?

A side is a gay man who rules anal sex out for himself, as a top and as a bottom. The American sexologist Joe Kort coined the term, and it has been in circulation since 2013. Alongside top, bottom and vers it stands as a fourth option in the gay vocabulary of roles.

Does a blowjob count as sex?

One of the narrators raises that question himself. After a blowjob in an aircraft lavatory he counts himself into the Mile High Club. He qualifies it at once: it only holds if you count a blowjob as sex. Being a Side treats it as more than a matter of definition. Anal sex is one practice among others there, because sex goes beyond penetration.

Which practices show up in the side accounts?

Blowjobs, rimming, jerking off, and watching with rubbing from the outside. Two accounts are about blowjobs, one about rimming and two about jerking off. One of those plays out alone in front of a mirror, the other in front of a partner. The sixth covers watching. Anal penetration stays out of all 6.

Does a side have to explain his reasons?

His reasons are his own. Being a Side states clearly that turning it down is reason enough. The guide does list possible grounds such as pain, disgust at faeces and complaints in the anal area. Saying them out loud is entirely up to him.

Where do I find guides to side sex instead of stories?

Under Side you find separate guides to blowjobs, deep throat, rimming, frotting, sex toys and wanking and solo play, each with preparation, technique and hygiene. The stories here show how all of it feels on a real evening, from a hotel room on Mallorca to a city park.